This is Just The Beginning: How To Make Your Marriage Last

The big day is finally approaching! With so much anticipation, it can feel like your wedding is the finish line signifying your eternal love for one another. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple.

Your wedding is just the beginning, which is why it’s so important that you and your spouse are committed to putting in the work together. Below, we’ll dive into some tips to make your marriage last long after your special day.

 

have realistic expectations about what will and won’t change

A lot of us get tricked into believing that once we’ve gone through the ceremony, we will feel a renewed sense of intimacy and connection with our partners. While that may be true for a certain period of time (it’s no wonder we have honeymoons), that sentiment won’t last forever at the same level of intensity.

Therefore, it’s important to set forth your expectations about what will and won’t change before and after your wedding if you have the opportunity. The biggest adjustment for some couples is the decision to move in together. However, if you were cohabiting prior to the marriage, your day to day life is likely to remain mostly unchanged.

If you find yourself banking on your connection with your partner changing with the advent of a wedding, know that those changes can be made in the present— A beautiful wedding is a great way to share your bond with those you love, but it won’t radically alter your bond.

 

Get ready to put in the work

Your wedding marks the start of a lifelong journey together with exciting highs and challenging lows. Know that after the wedding, you’ll have to both commit to making each other a priority. Throughout dating, many of us have a profound sense of urgency to court and care for our partners.

It’s up to you to make sure that the security of a wedding ring doesn’t make your relationship less of a priority. Talk to your partner about the best ways you can make them feel loved. How you express and care for each other is bound to change over time, but as long as you both commit yourselves to try, you’re bound to have a successful marriage.

 

communication is key

Throughout marriage or any relationship, being open and honest with your partner is key to staying connected. This doesn’t just extend to happy topics either; even if you’re upset with your partner, you should be able to respectfully share your feelings with one another. When in doubt, talk it out.

Moreover, if a certain topic feels too overwhelming to dissect by yourselves, don’t be afraid to seek out counseling. Having a trained professional to serve as an objective guiding light is always helpful, especially if you and your partner aren’t used to being so raw with one another.

Marriage counselors can also help you develop long term communication skills that you can use with your partner and otherwise, further deepening your relationship.

 

make time to be present with one another, every day

With all of today’s distractions, it’s easy to feel like you don’t have a lot of time left to spend with your partner. However, even if it’s as simple as committing to eating dinner face to face with one another every day, this can make a huge difference. Alternatively or additionally, find a hobby or activity that you can both share. For example, you could take up fitness, painting, cooking, or dance classes with one another to strengthen your bond while learning a new skill.

 

don’t forget to be yourself

This sounds silly, but don’t forget to be yourself in your marriage. All too often, we can begin to mold our identities entirely with the other person. Remember, your spouse fell in love with you for being the individual that you are. Plus, pursuing your own interests when you can makes you interesting to the other person and gives you something to talk about when you get the chance to reconnect throughout the day.

 

Be a good roommate

If you just started living together, managing that adjustment can be tricky. Remember that your spouse is not just the love of your life, but also your roommate. Do your best to have an open dialogue about dividing up chores and other household responsibilities to maintain marital bliss.

 

use your manners

We naturally crave being acknowledged by others. Even if it gets monotonous, it’s always a good idea to say a quick “please” and “thank you” to your spouse when appropriate. Do everything you can to reinforce that foundation of admiration and respect.

 

Grow and change with one another

Throughout your marriage, you and your partner are bound to change in many different ways. The key is changing with one another and welcoming/accepting one another’s growth. While it’s great to look back and reminisce over your old wedding photos, know that your journey together is constantly evolving in exciting, beautiful ways. Make your partner a priority and that adventure will continue to blossom for years to come.

The Journal

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